Buffy Unaired Pilot

Pilot
First Draft (January 26, 1996)
by Joss Whedon

TEASER

EXT. BERRYMAN HIGHSCHOOL – NIGHT

The buildings of the affluent Southern California school gleam darkly in the moonlight. We TRACK
about the campus – it's deserted.

CUT TO:

INT. HALL – CONTINUOUS

TRACK through the halls. Nothing.

CUT TO:

INT. CLASSROOMS – CONTINUOUS

Silent.

We track along the wall, past the maps and drawings tacked up on it, past the window, which
SHATTERS in our faces!

It's just a single pane, knocked in by someone's hand. It unlocks the window and slides it up.

CUT TO:

EXT. OUTSIDE THE BUILDING – CONTINUOUS

The intruder is a college age BOY, a timid GIRL beside him. She looks about nervously.

GIRL: Are you sure this is a good idea?

BOY: It's a great idea! Come on.

CUT TO:

INT. CLASSOOM – CONTINUOUS

As they climb in. She peers around some more as he shuts the window behind them.

GIRL: You go to school here?

BOY: Used to.

GIRL: It's nice.

BOY: It gets better. Come on.

CUT TO:

INT. BACKSTAGE – A BIT LATER

He leads her through the back of the school theater and

ANGLE: ON STAGE

which is lavishly dressed as an oversized alley set: a huge wooden fence, trash cans, etc. It looks suspiciously like the set of CATS.

She wanders through it a bit.

GIRL: Wow…

Suddenly the curtains open, revealing the empty auditorium, and the foot lights come up. The boy has worked all this from the side of the stage. He comes up to her.

BOY: Cool, huh?

GIRL: I'm sure we're not supposed to be here…

He moves to kiss her, but she turns suddenly, real fear crossing her face.

GIRL: What was that?

BOY: What was what?

GIRL: I heard a noise. BOY: It's nothing.

GIRL: Maybe it's something…

BOY: Maybe it's some Thing…

GIRL: That's not funny.

He looks about them. The place is dark shadowy. She cowers behind him.

BOY: Hello…?

Silence

BOY: There's nobody here.

GIRL: Are you sure?

BOY: I'm sure.

GIRL: Okay…

She bares HORRIBLE FANGS and BURIES them in his neck.

BLACKOUT.

CREDITS.

ACT ONE

EXT. BERRYMAN HIGHSCHOOL – MORNING

A day as bright and colorful as the night was black and eerie. Students pour in before first bell, talking, laughing. They could be from anywhere in America, but for the extremity of their dress and the esoteric mania of their slang. This is definitely So Cal.

We see definite grouping here: surfers, jocks, etc. One small group of grungily clad girls makes a path through the rest, parting them like the red sea. Nobody gets too near them.

As we TRACK through the mass of kids, we pick up snatches of conversations:

Two guys:

GUY: My parents grounded me! It's so not fair.

OTHER GUY: You should sue.

GUY : No way. My dad's lawyer is way better than mine.

Two girls:

GIRL: So I ordered a halfcaf mochachino with nonfat milk, and the guy brings me a cup of coffee!

OTHER GIRL: What's that all about?

ANGLE: A SKATEBOARD

Weaving along the road. On it is XANDER, dressed with the shaggy indifference common to skateboarders. He is bright, funny, and will one day be suave and handsome. Till that day arrives he'll do the best he can with bright and funny.

He weaves through a thickening mass of students toward the school.

XANDER: Coming through… Coming through…: (as the crowd increases): Not certain how to stop…

A few people do scatter as he comes up to the side walk, stopping with assured grace. He kicks the board up with his foot to catch it, only he misses and the board clatters to the ground, along with his books. Looking around to make sure nobody noticed that part, he bends down to pick them up.

He straightens up to see before him WILLOW. She is shy, bookish and very possibly dressed by her mother. The intelligence in her eyes and the sweetness of her smile belie a genuine charm that is lost on the unsubtle highschool mind.

It's certainly lost on Xander, though he brightens considerably to see her.

XANDER: Willow! How're you doing?

WILLOW: Okay.

XANDER: You're so very much the person I wanted to see.

Her excitement at that sentiment is sweetly pathetic, and typically unnoticed.

WILLOW: Really?

XANDER: Yeah. You know, I kind of had a problem with the math.

WILLOW: Which part?

XANDER: The math. Can you help me out third period? Please? Be my study buddy?

WILLOW: Well, what's in it for me?

XANDER: A shiny nickel…

WILLOW: Okay. But you shouldn't be having a problem with it, Xander. Mr. Worth says you never pay attention.

XANDER: I pay attention… Just not to him.

As they enter the building, the camera TRACKS away, again following groups of students.

Two guys:

GUY: No, for the real experience you have to see Tesh live.

OTHER GUY: Really?

GUY: It changed me.

Pass two more students, hucking a frisbee back and forth, and finally fall into line behind the feet of a girl, a girl walking alone toward the entrance. Come up and around her – hey, stylish outfit – to see her face.

BUFFY SUMMERS is sixteen, just turned. Blonde, pretty, a good portion of her deceptively insouciant face hidden behind the bubble she's just blown. It pops as she looks around, getting her bearings in an unfamiliar place.

She enters the building.

CUT TO:

INT. MAIN BUILDING – CONTINUOUS

She looks about again, a few students pushing past her. She goes left, away from the bustle of the kids, toward the administration offices.

She passes HAL the janitor. He mops the floor with an absent, twitchy expression. As she passes:

HAL: You want to live forever?

She turns, slowly.

BUFFY: What?

HAL: I'm gonna live forever, ‘cause I'm invisible. The CIA doesn't know where I'm at. You know what CIA stands for? It stands for "We're always watching what you're doing you guys". They watch me when I go to the bathroom.

Beat.

BUFFY: Okay. Gotta go.

She walks off, calmly, avoiding eye contact.

HAL: I'm gonna live forever…

ANGLE: THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE

BOB FLUTIE is stenciled on the frosted glass, right above PRINCIPAL. Buffy pushes the door open to see a secretary typing by another door. Buffy steps in just as MR FLUTIE comes through the other door.

MR FLUTIE: Mrs. Marowski, what happened to the detention records? I know you did something to them.: (seeing Buffy): You better get to class if – do I know you?

BUFFY: I'm Buffy Summers…

MR FLUTIE: Yes? Oh! Bunny!

BUFFY: Buffy.

MR FLUTIE: Hey, welcome! Come on in.

He beckons her into:

INT. MR FLUTIE'S OFFICE

Where he dodges the considerable clutter to go around his desk and dig up her file.

MR FLUTIE: Good to have you with us. You nervous? First day jitters?

BUFFY: Well I guess –

MR FLUTIE: You better be nervous, these kids'll eat you alive. I'm just funning you. You're gonna fit right in.

He comes around his desk, opening the door, holding a trashcan under Buffy's chin and talking all at once.

MR FLUTIE: You know, here at Berryman we have a saying – gum – But it's in Latin and I don't know what the hell it means. Gum.

Finally understanding, Buffy spits her gum into the trashcan as Mr Flutie calls out the door:

MR FLUTIE: Mrs. Marowski, can I get the schedule for Bitsy Summers – (it's handed to him) Thank you very much. Let's see –

Crossing back, sniffing the trashcan –

MR FLUTIE: Spearmint.: (looking at the schedule): You've got Ms. Ramsey for history first period. She's tough. Cruel but fair, you'll like her. (hands her the schedule) It's one the second floor, room 217.

BUFFY: Thank you.

MR FLUTIE: You're gonna do just fine here, Bambi. We don't have a lot of personal rules except no gang colors, no fur and you already know the part about the gum. As far as conduct is concerned, well, I'm confident there won't be any incidents like at your old school –

BUFFY: Mr. Flutie, you have my word. The last thing in the world I want is trouble.

CUT TO:

INT. HALL – CONTINUOUS

Striding through the hall is CORDELIA. Confident, beautiful and relentlessly cruel, she never goes anywhere without a babbling posse of hander-ons. Chief among them is HARMONY, her confidant/whipping girl.

Cordy (as few are permitted to call her) stops by her locker, the Cordettes milling about her. A good-looking boy passes.

BOY: Hey, Cordelia, you going to the Bronze tonight?

CORDELIA: Not with you…

She watches him pass.

HARMONY: I thought you liked him.

CORDELIA: Harmony, please. He's such a bongwater.

HARMONY: But we're going tonight, right?

A CORDETTE: Who's playing?

HARMONY: Dingoes Ate My Baby.

A CORDETTE: They rock!

Xander approaches, pulls some stuff out of his locker nearby. Another girl passes, Cordelia offering

CORDELIA: Wow, grunge! What a new look! (to Harmony) I know plaid is over – I just can't tell what's coming next.

XANDER: (leaning in) I don't know about you, but I'm scared!

CORDELIA: Excuse me, was I talking to you? Has any girl ever talked to you of her own free will? I don't think so.

XANDER: You know, I've often wondered why that is.

CORDELIA: Got a mirror?

She strides off, posse in tow. Xander hides the hurt fairly well.

XANDER: (call after them): Check back tomorrow, I'll have that devastating comeback ready…

He watches them a moment, somewhat defeated. Turns to go and BUMPS right into Buffy. Her bag falls to the floor, stuff spilling out everywhere.

She kneels down, starts scooping it back in. Xander helps her.

XANDER: Sorry about that.

BUFFY: It's okay. I wasn't paying attention.

XANDER: Here you go.

BUFFY: Thanks.

She stuffs it all in her bag and hurries to class. He watches her. It's fair to say he's smitten.

He notices something on the floor, bends down to get it. Calls after her:

XANDER: Oh, hey, you forgot your…: (looks at the thing in his hand): …stake…

But she's too far off to hear. He looks at the wooden stake, puzzled.

CUT TO:

INT. HISTORY CLASS – CONTINUOUS

Students mill about before second bell, settling, chatting. In the middle sits Cordelia, holding court with her friends.

At the front of the class is KATE RAMSEY, 10th grade history teacher. Youngish, sweet tempered, but no pushover. She unloads her books, ignoring the pre-class cacophony.

Willow enters, passes Cordy on her way to a seat.

CORDELIA: Willow, nice dress. Good to know you've finally seen the softer side of Sears.

Willow sheepishly takes her place as the Cordettes all crack up. The second bell rings.

MR RAMSEY: All right, settle. Who are we missing?

The door opens and Buffy sticks her head in.

MR RAMSEY: Can I help you?

BUFFY: Is this Eurocentric History?

MS RAMSEY: Oh, you're the new student! Come on in.

Buffy does, handing her schedule to Ms. Ramsey.

Xander bustles in after, sitting near the back. He leans forward to Willow, never taking his eyes off Buffy.

XANDER: Who is that girl?

WILLOW: She's new.

XANDER: (admiringly): She's new and improved…

Ms. Ramsey hands Buffy back her schedule.

MS RAMSEY: Yep, you're in the right place. You can sit there, there's a desk… (as Buffy puts her stuff down): Kids, we're up by one starting today. This is Buffy. (to Buffy) Do you want come up here and introduce yoursef to the class, or is that your personal vision of Hell?

BUFFY: No, that's okay. (to the kids) I'm Buffy Summers… I went to Hemery High in the Valley until… I didn't. Let's see, I'm… a girl…

STUDENT: Are you sure?

BUFFY: Mostly.. Uh, I think your school is really pretty, except I'm fairly wigged by the whole stucco experience in the lobby. I hope you're not all dread brainiacs that I can't keep up with, ‘cause I know this school has a really good rep and I'm nervous about that.

MS RAMSEY: Anything you want to tell us about yourself? Besides that you're a girl?

BUFFY: I'm sixteen – duh – I'm a Sagittarius with my moon in Gemini which means nothing, as far as I can tell. But my mom seems to think it explains a lot. I don't eat meat, except for cheeseburgers. I think Jill Sobule should be leader of the free world.

STUDENT: Turn-ons?

Assorted titters at that.

MS RAMSEY: (shoots him a look) Any hobbies? What do you do in your spare time?

ANGLE: XANDER

Holding the stake, waiting for a reply.

Buffy almost looks uncomfortable; there's ground here she doesn't care to tread.

BUFFY: Uh, shopping. Largely. Shopping and ancillary shopping activities such as browsing.

MS RAMSEY: You should fit right in here.

CORDELIA: It's like we're sisters.

STUDENT: Any dark secrets?

She pauses, looks down.

BUFFY: For a while I, um, I thought David Hasselhoff was cute. You should probably know that right off.

Silence. People look at each other uncomfortably. Finally…

XANDER: Knightrider or Baywatch?

BUFFY: Oh, Knightrider.

A general murmur of acceptance. Ms. Ramsey smiles. She likes this girl pretty well already.

MS RAMSEY: All right. Why don't we learn some history, while we're here.

CUT TO:

INT. SAME – AFTER CLASS

The bell is ringing as the students swarm out of their chairs. Cordelia approaches Buffy.

CORDELIA: Hey. I'm Cordelia.

BUFFY: Hey.

CORDELIA: After careful consideration we've decided that you're okay and we give you leave to hang with us.

BUFFY: (smiling): That's a relief.

CORDELIA: I knew it would be. So listen, tonight everyone's going to the Bronze. You should show.

BUFFY: The Bronze?

CORDELIA: It's a club.

HARMONY: It's like three blocks from campus. Across the park.

CORDELIA: It should be rageous. Quality bands and a total absence of designer coffee.

BUFFY: Gracious thanks, I'll try to show.

CORDELIA: Good.

Exeunt Cordettes, after most everyone. Buffy packs up the rest of her stuff as well, as Mr. Ramsey calls her to the front of the class.

MS RAMSEY: Buffy, this is Willow.

WILLOW: Hi.

BUFFY: Hi.

MS RAMSEY: She's the person to talk to to get caught up. She's my best student, or she would be if she ever spoke in class.

WILLOW: I plan to. I'm gearing up.

BUFFY: (to Ms. Ramsey) Thanks.

MS RAMSEY: I'll see you tomorrow.

Buffy and Willow start off together.

WILLOW: That's a really great outfit.

BUFFY: Thanks. I'm jamming on your dress.

WILLOW: Oh, no. It's dorky. I'm aware that it's dorky.

BUFFY: Not a jot! It's lush. Laura Ashley is definitely back.

WILLOW: You think?

BUFFY: She's back, and this time it's personal. See, they mated her with the Home Depot guy, and that's how we got Martha Stewart.

WILLOW: Ohhh…

ANGLE: CORDY

Watching the two girls from across the quad.

CORDELIA: Ooh, hanging with Willow. The judges are gonna have to take off points for that.

ANGLE: WILLOW AND BUFFY

Willow points at a building a ways away.

WILLOW: That's the library. A lot of the stuff is there and you can get the rest at the school store.

ANGLE: THE LIBRARY

A beautiful old building with a somewhat musty air.

Buffy looks at it and a shadow runs across her expression. She knits her brows briefly, then lets it go.

BUFFY: It's beautiful.

WILLOW: It's the oldest building on campus.

BUFFY: Well, thanks.

WILLOW: I'll see you at lunch.

Buffy starts toward the building as Willow goes off in the other direction.

As the Library looms at her, Buffy's distracted expression returns. Something about it bothers her.

A figure APPEARS right next to her – she starts slightly to see Xander at her side.

XANDER: Hi. I'm Xander. You bumped into me…

BUFFY: Oh, hi.

XANDER: So, I've been thinking it over – (produces the stake) and all I can figure is that you're building a really little fence.

He hands her the stake. She looks at it glumly.

BUFFY: Oh.

XANDER: You dropped it. I didn't get a chance to – what's it for?

BUFFY: Nothing.

XANDER: Come on, you can trust me with anything except money.

BUFFY: It's nothing. It's the past.

She throws it hard, out of frame. Watches it sail for a moment before turning to Xander.

BUFFY: And you can't live in the past.

She passes him, entering the library. As he watches her go, puzzled, we see the stake thirty yards behind him sail right into a garbage can.

CUT TO:

INT. THE LIBRARY – CONTINUOUS

Buffy enters, looking about her.

The library looks old, suffused with a musty elegance the rest of the campus does not share. There are two stories, the second a mezzanine that ends with a brass balcony, a spiral staircase winding down to the ground level. Stacks on both levels. Hundreds of books, the shelves stretching back almost out of sight in the dim light. Opposite the balcony, a stained glass window stretches up a full story, tinting the room's soft glow.

The place is empty. Tables and cubicles sit unmanned between the window and the stacks.

Still vaguely unsettled, Buffy wanders into the stacks, running her hand along the books. Toward the back they become increasingly old – some look quite valuable.

She pulls one out, flips some pages. Engravings flip by us, old and vaguely horrible, not unlike Gustav Dore's visions of Hell.

As Buffy looks it over, the camera CIRCLES her to reveal a man standing right behind her.

He is of middling age, and his rumpled, tweedy suit suggests he belongs here. His accent, when he speaks, is British. His name is GILES.

GILES: Can I help you?

She spins, her expression of brief fright and hardening to irritation.

BUFFY: God, sneak up on a girl why don't you?

GILES: I'm sorry. You seemed somewhat engrossed. You are interested in the occult?

BUFFY: What? No. No. I just like pretty pictures.

GILES: I see.

BUFFY: I was actually looking for some history textbooks; I'm new.

GILES: Miss Summers.

BUFFY: Good call. I guess I'm the only new kid.

GILES: You are. I'm Mr. Giles, the librarian.

BUFFY: Great. So you have, uh, Sutton-Smith's "Twentieth Century Perspectives—"

GILES: I think I know what you're after.

He leads her to the check-out desk by the door. His office can be seen behind it.

He pulls a book out and slides it toward Buffy. Huge, leatherbound, with a single word set in gild on the cover.

"VAMPYR".

Real concern floods Buffy's face, along with understanding. She steps back from the desk, eyes on the librarian.

BUFFY: That's not what I'm looking for.

GILES: Are you quite sure?

BUFFY: I'm way sure.

GILES: My mistake.

He replaces the book under the counter.

GILES: So, what is it you said –

BUFFY: Forget it.

She backs out of the library without another word.

Giles watches her go.

CUT TO:

INT. WOMENS' LOCKER ROOM – AFTERNOON

Two GIRLS approach their lockers, talking. They begin undressing (just shoes and coats and stuff. Get your mind out of the gutter.)

GIRL #1: The new kid? Her mom got some cool job, so they moved.

GIRL #2: Well, the chatter in the caf is that she got kicked out and that's why her mom had to get a new job.

GIRL #1: Neg.

GIRL #2: Pos. (opens her locker) She was starting fights.

GIRL #1: (opening hers): Negly! She's sporting a hardcore Mizrah i. No one starts a fight in that outfit. If I could get my hands on –

Something FLIES OUT of the locker at her! She SCREAMS as the dead body of the boy from the opening collapses on her, eyes horribly wide.

ANGLE: FROM ABOVE

The body sprawls out on the floor as the girl steps back, screaming for all she's worth.

BLACKOUT.

ACT TWO

EXT. CAMPUS – MIDDAY

Lunchtime. Buffy is walking with Xander, as he points out the fine points of campus social life.

XANDER: We're probably not much different than the kids at Hemery. You know.

They pass a group of boys in the gangsta regalia, talking.

XANDER: Those are the Howsers. They'd be genuine hardcore gangsta's, except for the "upperclass white guy" stigma. Total wannabe's, but they're okay.

He points to a group of dimwitted surfdudes.

XANDER: The Topanga inbreeds. (to one, as they pass) Hey, surf's always up somewhere in the world.

The inbreeds all stop to OOOOH at this pearl of wisdom as Xander and Buffy continue on.

BUFFY: Yeah, it's pretty much the same one my side of the hill.

XANDER: Well, try your hand.

She looks over a group of kids talking animatedly.

BUFFY: Let's see, that would have to be the theatre club.

XANDER: Well spotted. What gave it away?

BUFFY: They're always way gestury. (gesturing wildly) Would you like some more salt?

XANDER: (also gesturing) Thank you for the salt. (normal, pointing elsewhere) And
them?

BUFFY: Film club?

XANDER: (nodding): The li'l auteurs. They spend their time deciding that every movie is an existential meditation on Freudian sexuality.

BUFFY: Even "Muppets Take Manhattan"?

XANDER: Especially "Muppets Take Manhattan". Ah! The Dirty Girls.

They are approaching the group of grungy girls we saw earlier. As before, everyone gets out of their way.

BUFFY: Why do you call them the – (as they pass) Oh! Wow.

XANDER: They have views on hygiene. It's pretty intense.

They see Cordy and her friends approaching from a distance. As they do, a student runs urgently by them to a nearby group. All they overhear is:

STUDENT: Have you guys heard? They found some guy –

BUFFY: (to Xander): What about Cordelia and her friends – Do you have a name for
them?

XANDER: (bitterly): Oh yeah.

BUFFY: So which group are you affiliated with?

XANDER: Well, I've applied to a few, but it doesn't look good. Although I still haven't heard back from the Dirty Girls…

They run into Willow, who looks a bit upset.

XANDER: There you are! I was escorting Buffy to you; I thought she might get lost –

BUFFY: (interrupting him): What's wrong?

WILLOW: You didn't hear?

BUFFY: Hear what?

WILLOW: In the Womens' locker room. They found someone.

XANDER: And?

WILLOW: I mean, they found someone. I mean someone --

CORDELIA: --dead.

She has arrived, with her posse. Buffy takes a moment to register the information.

BUFFY: Dead?

CORDELIA: Way dead.

XANDER: So not just a little dead then.

CORDELIA: Don't you have an elsewhere to be?

BUFFY: Are you guys sure?

WILLOW: I heard it from Ms. Ramsey. He was in a locker.

HARMONY: I heard he used to go here, and that it was a gang thing.

WILLOW: You think he was… killed by someone?

CORDELIA: No, I'm sure it was natural causes. He crawled into a locker to die of old
age.

HARMONY: I hope the news comes to do interviews.

BUFFY: Uh, I gotta book. I'll see you guys later.

She takes off. Willow watches her, a bit puzzled.

Behind Willow, we see a student telling the Theatre Club, all of whom react with enormous gestures.

CUT TO:

INT. WOMENS' LOCKER ROOM – LATER

The body has been covered with a blanket. Mr. Flutie is talking quietly with Ms. Ramsey.

MR FLUTIE: I think it's Chris Boal. He was here before your time.

MS RAMSEY: I just can't believe it.

MR FLUTIE: Just tell the kids gym is cancelled. We'll have an assembly in the morning. Do you think that's good? An assembly?

MS RAMSEY: I do.

MR FLUTIE: I'll wait here for the police. Someone did call the police, right? Oh. I did. Okay.

She goes off. He looks back at the body, then steps out.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE LOCKER ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Mr. Flutie closes the door quietly. He turns to see Buffy before him.

MR FLUTIE: Bambie! Uh, Betty – dyeh – Betty. Wilma?

BUFFY: Buffy.

MR FLUTIE: I'm so sorry about this; I know it's your first day. But let me just say that we very seldom – we almost never – have dead kids stuffed in lockers. In fact I have a strict policy about that –

BUFFY: (pointing at the door): Is he still in there?

He nods. As he continues to babble on, Buffy knits her brow thinking.

MR FLUTIE: I know this is hard, it's not the welcome I was planning for you. I know you're upset, confused, you probably have that thing, like when you burp and then you get a little vomitty taste in your mouth, but I would like to point out that the boy was not currently a student. The important thing is we're all here for you and if there's anything you need –

BUFFY: Can I look at the body?

MR FLUTIE: Ah – whah – who? What?

BUFFY: I think I should look at the body. Don't you?

MR FLUTIE: Do I?

BUFFY: Well, you know, it's like you say, I'm having kind of an emotional wiggins right now –

MR FLUTIE: But I think you'd be more upset – it's a very painful thing –

BUFFY: (craning her neck to see in): But I think I should embrace the pain –

MR FLUTIE: I have to respect the boy's dignity. Also he's getting stinky.

BUFFY: Mr. Flutie. Can I call you Bob?

MR FLUTIE: No –

BUFFY: Bob, I could deal with this on a superficial level by talking it over with the reporters that are probably on their way –

MR FLUTIE: Reporters? But –

BUFFY: But Bobby –

MR FLUTIE: Bambi –

BUFFY: Bob. I need closure. You know. I need to be alone with my grief. And the dead guy.

MR FLUTIE: Well, okay. For a minute. Do you really think there'll be reporters?

BUFFY: I wouldn't worry about it.

She stands by the door. Reluctant and confused, Mr. Flutie opens it for her.

MR FLUTIE: Just for a minute.

BUFFY: I'm embracing the pain.

CUT TO:

INT. WOMENS' LOCKER ROOM – CONTINUOUS

The door closes behind her as Buffy approaches the body laid out under a blanket. :

She hesitates, sure she's not going to like what she sees. Pulls the blanket from his head and shoulders.

ANGLE: HIS NECK

Has two big ol' bite marks in it.

What floods onto Buffy's face is not horror, but grim frustration. She stares down at the body another moment, nearly seething.

BUFFY: Oh, great!

CUT TO:

INT LIBRARY – MOMENTS LATER

Buffy strides back in, attitude high.

BUFFY: Okay? What's the sitch?

She spies Giles up on the second level and starts up toward him.

GILES: Sorry?

BUFFY: What is the sitch here? You heard about the dead guy, right? The dead guy in the locker?

GILES: Yes.

BUFFY: Well, it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little little holes in his neck and all his blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, "Ooooh…."?

GILES: I was afraid of this.

BUFFY: Well, I wasn't! It's my first day. I was afraid that I'd be behind in all the classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I'd have last month's hair. I didn't think there would be vampires on campus. And I don't care.

GILES Then why are you here?

She's stopped for a moment.

BUFFY: To tell you that I don't care. Which I don't, and… have now told you. So bye.

She starts down the spiral staircase, maybe a little unsatisfied with her exit. Giles leans out over the railing as she hits the floor.

GILES: You cannot escape your destiny!

BUFFY: Just watch me.

GILES: Buffy!

BUFFY: (turning): Why can't you people just leave me alone?

GILES: Because you are the Slayer.

She stops. No comeback just now. He starts down after her, solemnly intoning:

GILES: Into every generation, a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One.

BUFFY: (a groan) Oh, you're gonna do the speech, too?

She finishes along with him:

BUFFY & GILES: One born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires –

BUFFY: To stop the spread of their evil blah blah blah I've heard it, okay?

GILES: I don't understand this attitude. You've accepted your duty, you've slain vampires before –

BUFFY: Well I have both been there and done that. And I'm moving on. Growing as a person, watch it happen. New school, new life, and baby's got a new pair of shoes.

GILES: What does that mean?

BUFFY: Not really sure. I think it's a metaphor. But in the blunt way of leaving, I'm laterized. Bye.

GILES: You have no idea what's going on, do you?

BUFFY: There's vampires. Big johnson. You kill ‘em.

GILES: You think vampires are the only threat we face here?

BUFFY What do you mean?

GILES: "There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

She tries to move past him and h pulls a book off the shelf, hands it to her. It resembles the vampire book he showed her earlier. He continues to pull more off, piling them up in her arms.

GILES: Werewolves. Zombies. Ghouls. Succubi, incubi, everything you ever dreaded under your bed and told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real.

BUFFY What, did you send away for the Time Life series?

GILES: Uh, yes.

She turns one over: TIME LIFE is one the spine.

BUFFY: Did you get the free phone?

GILES: The calendar.

BUFFY: Cool.: (reads): "Zombies."

She suddenly remembers her agenda, unloads the pile back onto Giles.

BUFFY: Okay, first of all, I'm a vampire Slayer. And secondly I'm retired.

GILES: But your work is not finished.

BUFFY: My work? I'm sixteen! I don't have work. I have homework.

GILES: And you haven't been properly trained.

BUFFY: Which is why you're here.

GILES: I am a Watcher. A Watcher serves by finding the Slayer, leading her on her path. It's my destiny to guide you.

BUFFY: Yeah, well the last guy they sent to guide me – you should see what happened to
him.

GILES: I know all about it.

BUFFY: (truly upset): You don't know anything about it! You don't know what it's like! I was perfectly happy, I was Cindy Lou Hoo just singing through my life when everything exploded in my face. Vampires, which are only supposed to be in cheesy movies, move into town. I find out I'm the Slayer, the only one in the world, and I gotta stop them. And I do. I train, I hunt. It becomes my whole life. I can do things no other kid can and that's fairly lush. I'm into that. I kill the vampires, good for me, and when it's all over what's left? My grades are crap, my friends all think I'm bizarro and won't come near me, and I get thrown out of school for making trouble. It's not exactly a medal and a book deal, you know what I mean?

GILES: I do.

BUFFY: I just want to be like everybody else: (quietly): Like anybody else.

GILES: (quietly): But you're not.

BUFFY: Well, I'm gonna be.

GILES: (suddenly harsh): How can you worry so much about your social calendar when there are lives at stake? That's pretty damn superficial. No wonder you were such a substandard slayer –

BUFFY: Don't you call me subsandwich! I kicked undead butt!

GILES: Headstrong, irresponsible, it's just like they warned me –

BUFFY: Hey!

GILES: It's because you never finished your training.

BUFFY: I did things different, sure, but I'm the best Slayer you'll ever see! You'll never find anyone as good as me and you know it!

Beat. She realizes where he's taken her.

BUFFY: Golly. I walked right into that, didn't I.

GILES: Yes. It was kind of exciting.

BUFFY: Well, it doesn't change anything.

GILES: Sooner or later you're going to have to face this threat. I want you to be ready when you do.

BUFFY: I'll keep my eyes open.

GILES: You'll have to do more than that. Think about what I've said. I'll be in touch.

BUFFY: I'll sit by the phone every minute.

She starts to exit.

GILES: Buffy, remember that you are the Slayer. It is a great gift.

BUFFY: Yeah? You think I could return it for store credit?

She leaves. Giles watches her go. After a moment, he retreats into his office, shaking his head.

ANGLE: IN THE STACKS

A shadowly figure moves about back there, emerges into the light. It's Xander, excitement, amusement and disbelief dancing about his face.

XANDER: Oohhhhkaaaay….

BLACKOUT.

ACT THREE

INT. BUFFY'S ROOM � AFTERNOON

She is in the agony of outfit choosage, getting ready to go out. She has two, one scanty, the other somewhat plain. She holds them alternatively in front of her, looking in the mirror.

BUFFY: (holding up on) Hi! I'm an enormous slut!(the other) Hi! Would you like a copy of the Watchtower?(throws them both down) I used to be so good at this�

From behind the door, we hear her MOTHER's voice.

MOTHER (OS): Are you going out tonight, honey?

BUFFY: Yeah, Mom. I'm going to a club.

MOTHER (OS): Will there be boys there?

BUFFY: No, Mom; it's a nun club.

MOTHER (OS): Well, just be careful.

BUFFY: I will.

She crosses to her dresser.

BUFFY: (to herself) I guess I better take some protection�

She rummages through a drawer of toiletries. Instead of a condom, she pulls out an ornate cross. Slips it in her purse.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE BRONZE � NIGHT

A decent crowd mills aimlessly around the joint, highschool students and older. The place has an appealingly dive-y earthiness; no waiting in line for the bouncer to decide whether you're cool or not. Those that are in line wait only to pay the four bucks and get their hands stamped if they're old enough to drink.

Buffy moves her way up the line, scanning about for a familiar face. She doesn't find one. As she is let in we

CUT TO:

INT. THE BRONZE � CONTINUOUS

It's dark, crowded and noisy. A fairly thrashsome band holds forth on stage, blasting the kind of music that would cause major moshing in a rowdier crowd. Bars at either end, and a balcony ringing the place with tables for two.

Buffy makes her way through, still looking about. A good looking guy spies her and waves, smiling.

GUY: Hey!

Buffy smiles vaguely, waving back. A moment before she realizes he's waving to a guy right behind her. She attempts to turn her wave into fixing her hair, looking embarrassed.

More wandering. She bumps into one of the students from her history class. They nod vaguely at each other.

BUFFY: Hi. Uh, have you seen Cordelia?

STUDENT: What?

BUFFY: Do you know Cordelia?

STUDENT: Haven't seen her.

BUFFY: Thought she might � she said she was gonna be here.

The student nods, and the conversation fizzles completely.

Buffy watches the band for a moment when she is suddently accosted by the hulking figure of MURPH, a relentlessly party-minded jock.

MURPH: Hey, you're the new chick! Cool!

BUFFY: Buffy. Hi.

MURPH: I'm Mike Murphy. They call me Murph. The Murph man!

From another corner, a fellow football player brays:

FOOTBALL GUY: Murph!

MURPH: Whoah!

Having exchanged pleasantries, he turns is attention back to Buffy.

MURPH: What's your name?

BUFFY: It's still Buffy.

MURPH: You're a hotty.

BUFFY: Thanks.

MURPH: You're a Hottentot! I feel the earth move under my feet. You like this band?

BUFFY: Uh �

MURPH: They're cool.(yells at the band) You suck!

Buffy looks to move on, but she's kind of pinned in the corner, right under the balcony.

MURPH: You want a brugle? I got stamped with my bro's I.D.

BUFFY: Passage, thanks.

MURPH: No, you gotta party a brugle, you're my Hottentot!

BUFFY: Really. I'll Pasa doble.

MURPH: (sings) I've ben waiting so long To be where I'm going In the sunshine of your loooooove�.

BUFFY: (to herself, abject) Take me now, lord.

MURPH: There's the waitress. Hey! Hey! Serving Wench!

As he turns away from Buffy to call out, Buffy grabs the railing above her head. With impossible strength and grace, she swings herself up over the rail onto the balcony, unseen by anyone.

Murph turns back, is completely confused by Buffy's absence.

MURPH: There was a girl! I know there was!

ANGLE: BUFFY

Leaning over the railing, watching the band. Happy to be alone � until Giles leans out on the railing next to her. He also looks out at the band, not at her.

GILES: Impressive. Not wildly subtle�

BUFFY: So, you like to party with the students? Isn't that kind of skanky?

GILES: (witheringly) Right. This is me having fun. (looking out on stage) Watching Clown-hair prance about is hardly my idea of a party. I'd much prefer to be home with a cup of bovril and a good book.

BUFFY: You need a personality, STAT.

GILES: I'm here because this is the likeliest place for a vampire to appear. Dark, crowded, full of ripe subjects. To a vampire, this is Burger King.

Giles digs in his pocket, produces a flask and a roughly carved stake.

GILES: I want you to take these. Holy water, and this.

He hands them to her. She looks at the stake critically � and amused.

BUFFY: What is this?

GILES: Well, it's a stake.

BUFFY: Yeah. You whittle this puppy yourself?

GILES: It's not good?

BUFFY: No, it's great. Not stylin', per se�

GILES: But it's sturdy � it's cherrywood �

BUFFY: I could get a splinter from this.

ANGLE: THE MURPH

Clutching his beer in maudlin reverie.

MURPH: Maybe she was just a crazy dream�

ANGLE: BUFFY AND GILES

In mid-conversation

BUFFY: I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have fluffy bunny feelings for them. I'm just not gonna get way extracurricular with it. If I run into one, sure�

GILES: But will you be ready? There's so much you don't know, about them and about your own powers. Can you tell me if there is a vampire in this building?

BUFFY: Maybe?

GILES: You should know. Without looking, without thinking. Even through this mass and this din you should be able to sense them. Try. Reach out with your mind.

She looks down at the mass of kids on the floor. Furrows her brow.

GILES: You have to hone your senses, focus until the energy washes over you, till you can feel every particle of �

BUFFY: There's one.

Giles stops, nonplussed.

GILES: What? Where?

BUFFY: (pointing) Down there. Talking to that girl.

ANGLE: THEIR POV

In the corner stands a good-looking young man, talking to a girl we can't really see.

GILES: But you don't know �

BUFFY: Oh, please. Look at his jacket. He's got the sleeves rolled up. And the torn shirt� Deal with that outfit for a moment.

GILES: It's dated?

BUFFY: It's carbon dated! Trust me: only someone who's been living underground for ten years would think that was the look. Well, here we go�

She starts down toward the floor. Giles looks fairly bemused.

GILES: But� you didn't hone�

ANGLE: THE VAMPIRE

Is leading the girl out the door by the stage. Still we cannot see her clearly.

Buffy hits the crowded floor, seeing them exit. She makes her way as quickly as possible to the other side.

Giles tries to follow, but the crowd is too much for him. He cranes his neck to see as Buffy exits.

ANGLE: MURPH

He also sees her exit, starts plowing his way through to her as well.

MURPH: She's real! She's really real!

CUT TO:

INT. BACKSTAGE � CONTINOUS

It's dark here, and somehwat labyrinthine. Buffy moves slowly, cautiously. There is no one about.

A shadow glides past, down the hall. Buffy starts after it. A NOISE behind her and she spins � to see nothing.

BUFFY: Minion of Hell? (as to a kitty) Here, minion�

She's getting a teensy bit wigged. Pulls the stake out of her purse. Keeps going�

BUFFY: Okay� I know you're there, you evil bloodsucking� guy� come on out and I'll send [you] back to the grave and we'll call it a night, okay?

She turns the corner and he's ON HER! She grabs him, throws him up against the wall, holding him two feet off the ground �

Well, holding her, actually. Holding Cordelia, who has the same dumbfounded gape that Harmony and the other girl with them have.

CORDELIA: Excuse me� could you be any weirder? Is there a more weirdness that you could have?

Buffy lets her down, lowering the stake.

HARMONY: God, what is your childhood trauma?

BUFFY: I, uh� uh� sorry� I was just�

CORDELIA: � completely dosed?

BUFFY: No, I �

But she can't come up with anything. Face red with every emotion that makes your face red, she retreats back the way she came, throwing the stake to the ground.

Cordy and the others are still agape. After a moment, Cordy regains her composure.

CORDELIA: Excuse me. I have to call everyone that I've ever met right now.

CUT TO:

INT. CLUB � CONTINUOUS

Buffy SLAMS the doors open as she strikes back in. Giles stops her right by the door.

GILES: Did you find him?

BUFFY: No!

Murph muscles his way up to her as well, still toting two plastic cups of beer.

MURPH: Hey! Hotty! Check it out, I got you a beer � (sees Mr. Giles, finishes:) -- flavored drink.

GILES: (ignoring Murph) Where did you go? Why did you follow?

BUFFY: I was busy making an idiot of myself in front of my new friends. Oh God, this is such a Nam flashback! It's my old school all over again. Forget it! Forget you! Forget everything!

MURPH: I don't think you're supposed to talk to school staff that way�

GILES: What about the vampire

BUFFY: It probably wasn't even! I was wrong. Anyway it doesn't matter. Whatever he was, he's long gone by now.

CUT TO:

EXT. SCHOOL � CONTINUOUS

As we see this sartorially challenged Vampire forcing a window open. The scene mirrors the opening, except that this boy is no victim.

VAMPIRE: See, I told you we could get in. Come on�

He motions for the girl with him to climb in first. As she approaches the window, looking about nervously, we see her face for the first time.

It's Willow.

BLACKOUT.

ACT FOUR

EXT. OUTSIDE THE BRONZE � NIGHT

As Buffy come[s] grimly out the door. Xander is heading in � he spies her and approaches.

XANDER: Hey! Buffy! How come you're leaving?

BUFFY: I'm just not in party mode, I guess.

XANDER: Well, don't be a quitter! You just don't know enough people. I'll introduce you around. No one will talk to me, but they'll probably talk to you�

BUFFY: Thanks, I think I'm sleepybound.

XANDER: Yeah, you're probably tired from all that vampire slaying.

BUFFY: What?

XANDER: I was in the library today and it's the funniest thing, this girl comes in and starts arguing with the school librarian all about how she's a Slayer and he's a Watcher and it's deep, I mean I couldn't tear myself away.

BUFFY: You were spying on me!

XANDER: I was checking out books! And hey, it's a library! You're supposed to whisper.

BUFFY: Oh, I hate this whole day!

XANDER: Relax, I'm not gonna tell anyone your dark secret. I'm not even sure what your dark secret is.

BUFFY: That I'm an idiot.

XANDER: Then we should have lots to talk about.

Buffy smiles wryly.

XANDER: Listen, if you don't feel like catching the band, do you want to take a walk or something?

BUFFY: I don't know�

XANDER: We could break into the school. It's really cool. If you go up on top of the gym you can see a lot more smog. It's a great place to make out, or so they tell me.

BUFFY: That's definitely my cue to book.

XANDER: Oh! I didn't mean that we would � I mean� Bad idea. Too crowded on campus anyway; I think Willow's there with some loser.

BUFFY: Willow? With who?

XANDER: I didn't know the guy but nice outfit � if you're Lionel Ritchie.

BUFFY: Oh no�

XANDER: Yeah, they'll be dancing on the ceiling any minute now �

She bolts. Takes off toward school with incredible speed, Xander wide-eyed in her wake.

XANDER: What is she�

A moment more and he jumps on his skateboard, starts speeding after her.

ANGLE: MAN ON A MOTORCYCLE

He's just old enough to be called a man � maybe twenty. Handscome and intense, he watches them leave from the shadows. Thinks a moment, then kicks his cycle to life.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARK � CONTINUOUS

As Buffy tears along, leaping hedges and benches anything else in her way.

CUT TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM � CONTINUOUS

The access door opens and Willow meekly sticks her head out, the vampire right behind.

VAMPIRE: Pretty cool, huh?

WILLOW: Uh, yeah�

He leads her out on stage.

VAMPIRE: Are you ready to perform?

The door slams shut behind them.

CUT TO:

EXT. SCHOOL � CONTINUOUS

As Buffy continues to race toward it, not slowing down at all.

She crosses a street and a moment later Xander zips by on his skateboard. He's making terrific time on the thing and he still can't keep up with her.

XANDER: Hey, wait up!

She reaches a gate and leaps up, grabbing the top and pulling herself up.

A moment later Xander SLAMS into the gate at top speed.

He shakes it off, pulling himself under the gate as Buffy drops to the ground.

XANDER: Buffy, what's the sitch here?

BUFFY: I gotta find Willow.

XANDER: Why?

BUFFY: She's in danger.

XANDER: Danger? Like "danger" danger? (suspiciously) This isn't a vampire issue, is it?

She hands him her purse.

BUFFY: You may need this. Now where would they go?

XANDER: I don't know � there's a few places.

BUFFY: Show me.

They take off.

CUT TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM � CONTINUOUS

Willow is still wandering about the stage, nervous.

WILLOW: I don't usually do this sort of thing. (quietly) I don't usually get asked� (louder) But I'm having a good time. Where did you say you went to school?

VAMPIRE: Crossroads.

He comes up behind her, starts rubbing her shoulders seductively.

WILLOW: So. Time for some kissing, huh?

VAMPIRE: Relax�

WILLOW: We probably shouldn't even be here. Especially after what happened to that poor boy.

VAMPIRE: He had it coming.

Alarm blooms on Willows face.

WILLOW: What do you mean?

VAMPIRE: Coming here alone at night with a complete stranger � what kind of an idiot would do a thing like that?

She turns to see pure evil grining at her. She steps back.

WILLOW: Oh, God�

VAMPIRE What's the matter? Don't you wanna snuggle?

CUT TO:

EXT. SCILABS � CONTINUOUS

Buffy races out of one just as Xander catches up to her.

BUFFY: Nothing.

XANDER: They gotta be on top of the gym.

A distant scream rises from the building across the campus.

XANDER The auditorium!

CUT TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM � CONTINUOUS

The vampire's hand grabs Willow's throat, cutting off her scream.

The vampire bears his fangs.

CUT TO:

EXT. OUTSIDE THE AUDITORIUM � CONTINUOUS

Xander tries a door on the far left, Buffy an identical one on the far right.

XANDER: Locked!

BUFFY: Locked.

She steps back, lifts her leg.

ANGLE: THE DOOR FROM INSIDE

It CRASHES open, the lock splintering off.

ANGLE: OUTSIDE

Buffy enters. Xander watches from his end, then steps back, lifts his leg.

ANGLE: THE OTHER DOOR FROM INSIDE

There is a hollow thud, followed by a particularly piteous

XANDER: Owwwwww�..

CUT TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM � CONTINUOUS

The vampire bites down on the feebly struggling Willow. Blood runs down her shoulder as the vampire closes his eyes in ecstasy.

The doors at the back of the auditorium FLY open. Buffy steps forward.

BUFFY: Get off of her!

The vampire stops feeding to look up. He smiles.

VAMPIRE: Ohh� Seconds.

Willow takes the moment to wrench herself from his grasp. At that moment, Buffy starts running down the center aisle, picking up speed, leaping onto the stage and jumping, flipping, soaring with precision right at him � he struggles with Willow a moment too long, looks up just as Buffy's feet SLAM into his chest.

Both he and Buffy hit the ground on their backs, but she is up in a second, standing over him as he gasps and clutches his chest.

WILLOW: (incredulous) Buffy?

BUFFY: Willow, bail. (to the vampire) You really shouldn't be here. A vampire All alone at night � it isn't safe. VAMPIRE: You got me wrong�

BUFFY: (sarcastically) Oh, my bad. You're not a vampire?

VAMPIRE: I'm not alone.

At one end of the stage, the GIRL VAMPIRE from the opening steps out of the shadows. At the other end a disconcertingly BEEFY VAMPIRE mirrors her, and SKINNY VAMPIRE slides down a rope behind Buffy.

BUFFY: Oops�

CUT TO:

INT. THEATER FOYER � CONTINUOUS

Xander limps in through the door Buffy kicked. He reaches the double doors of the auditorium just as they swing shut again. He pulls at them fiercely, but they've relocked.

XANDER: Dammit!

He runs to the side to find an other entrace. Turns the corner and runs smack into:

XANDER: AHH!!

HAL: AHH!!

-- Hal the janitor, complete with mop.

HAL: Not allowed here, regulations clearly state, school hours from eight to four �

XANDER: Tell me about it sometime.

And he takes off.

CUT TO:

INT. STAGE � CONTINUOUS

The four nasties start circling Buffy. Willow, for the moment forgotten, is still lying dazed in one corner.

BUFFY: I don't suppose you guys would be sweeties and attack me one at a time?

VAMPIRE: You watch too many movies.

BUFFY: You can never watch too �

They rush her, all four.

Buffy spins, her leg up in a crushing roundhouse kick that connects with two jaws. The girl and Skinny go down as Beefy grabs Buffy from behind. He bares �em and leans in at her neck, but a backwards headbutt dazes him just as the head vampires comes in at her.

She brings her legs up in a double kick, slamming into the head vampire's jaw and continuing up, flipping herself all the way over so she is behind Beefy, comes to the ground and lands him a stupefying punch in the kidneys.

Xander comes in from the wings, stops when he sees the situation.

Hal also runs up, bumping into Xander from behind.

XANDER: AHH!! Stop that, will ya?

BUFFY: Xander, get Willow out of here!

She is fighting even as she is speaking, barely fending off the group.

Xander looks over at Willow, lying all the way across the stage. He takes a step toward her and Beefy hisses at him menacingly. Showing prodigious fangs. Xander's eyes widen with realization.

XANDER: (calls out) Willow! Get out of here! (to Hal) We need to get help.

HAL: I'm invisible.

XANDER: That's useful�

Vampire rips a large plank off the giant fence from the set, swings at Buffy with it. Hits her solidly, and she flies back.

Xander grabs Hal's mop, tosses it to Buffy.

HAL: Need a requisition order for that �

Buffy catches the mop and she and Vampire go at it. She's hell with a mop, Buffy is.

Xander races over to Willow, hoists her up.

XANDER: Can you walk?

WILLOW: (dazed, feeling her neck) Mom was right about boys�

ANGLE: BUFFY

Is holding the four of them off with her mop. She looks at it a moment.

BUFFY: I'm beating you guys with a mop. I really feel there's a pun here I should be making.

The head vampire sees Xander and Willow limping off, shouts to the girl:

VAMPIRE: Get �em!

As she goes after the kids, Beefy charges Buffy. She spins, using his momentum to send him flying.

She spars with the head vampire for a bit, finally breaking his board in two. She brings the mop up --

--Beefy leaps at her from behind, seething --

--Buffy slams the mop down on the vampire's head � it breaks into two � Buffy keeps swinging and brings the broken half under her arm like a swagger stick, the jagged end sticking out the back --

--And Beefy slams right onto it. Falls.

As he hits the ground, his body has already crumbled to dust.

ANGLE: XANDER AND WILLOW

As they are just backstage, the girl drops down in front of them from the scenery.

Smiling, she grabs them both by the necks. Xander lets the purse fall from his hand. The girls looks at Willow's neck a moment, at the twin trickles of blood.

GIRL: I hate leftovers.

She hurls Willow aside, bringing the futilely struggling Xander closer.

XANDER: The purse�

He indicates it to Willow. She digs out some useless items, landing on a cross. Looks at Xander who nods.

Standing up unsteadily, she holds it before the girl.

GIRL: You fool! That puny thing can't hurt meOOOWWWWWW!!!

Her boast ends in genuine pain as Willow presses the cross against her face. She lets go of Xander, clawing at the smoking mark the cross leave there.

XANDER: Way to bluff.

ANGLE: BUFFY

Still held down by her two. Skinny has given up trying to get at her throat. He grabs her leg and goes for her nice juicy Achilles tendon.

He gets a face full of foot � though not quite in the way he'd intended � and flies back. Buffy extricates herself from the head vampire's grasp as well, stands facing him, battle stance. Blood trickling from her nose.

ANGLE: SKINNY

Feels in his mouth.

SKINNY: She knocked a tooth out! (looking at it) Oh, it's a fang!

VAMPIRE: Who are you?

BUFFY: (smiling) Guess what? There's a new Slayer in town.

SKINNY: (eyes wide) A Slayer�

After a moment he turns tail and absolutely bolts out of the building. Buffy turns to the head vampire.

BUFFY: Better face facts. You've run out of friends� you've run out of time� and nobody likes your outfit.

A beat.

They charge each other, the vampire howling with hate.

CUT TO:

EXT. THEATER � CONTINUOUS

Skinny comes crashing through a window, hits the ground at a dead run. He is twenty feet from the building when a figure steps in front of him.

It's the man we saw on the motorcycle. Skinny looks up at him, horrified recognition flooding onto his face.

SKINNY: Angel�

The man puts a stake through Skinny's heart. Skinny's eyes widen as it drives home, then he gently falls to earth. To dust.

CUT TO:

INT. BACKSTAGE � CONTINUOUS

The girl is thrashing about, knocking things over � she's really pissed. Xander pulls the flask of holy water out of the purse, looks at it.

XANDER: This better be holy�

Willow is still warding the girl off with the cross. The girls back into Xander, who grabs her, holds her as he upends the flask into her mouth.

She screams, smoke pouring out of her mouth and nose. Xander and Willow shrink back in horror as she stands, shaking violently, then falls and crumbles.

WILLOW: Eeeeyyuu.

CUT TO:

ANGLE: ON STAGE

As Buffy is smashed into a bit of scenery. The vampire seems to be getting the better of her, as the two of them trade crushing blows.

A vicious punch sends her flying, half buries her under garbage bags. The vampire looms over her.

VAMPIRE: Aren't you gonna say something funny? The master taught us to fear Slayers. What a joke.

She plants a wailing kick between his legs. He sags, eyes popwide.

VAMPIRE: Oooh, look at all the spots�.

WILLOW: FREEZE!

She bellows it with as much conviction as she can muster. She stands in classic cop stance, arms forward, butt sticking out, with the cross held before her with two hands like a pistol. It shakes only slightly.

Xander also comes into view, holding the flask at the ready.

WILLOW: I know how to use this� I think�

The vampire looks at the three of them. They're a shaky bunch, but they do have the edge on him. He looks about for an avenue of escape. He grabs the rope the Skinny one came down on and climbs with incredible speed straight up.

Buffy looks around, grabs another rope.

ANGLE: THE ROPE

One end is tied to the wall, the other goes up to a pulley, holding a large piece of scenery up.

She grabs a broken board and slices the rope from the wall � instantly the scenery plummets to the ground and Buffy is hauled straight up.

ANGLE: THE CATWALK

High above the stage, the vampire climbs onto the catwalk. It's narrow, with a wooden rail on either side. He's making his way across it when Buffy comes up into view, letting go of the rope and landing right in front of him.

BUFFY: Did I say anyone could leave?

He comes at her, she parries his blow but he's ready for her, knocks her arms aside and grabs her throat with brutal force. She thrashes, grabbing his arms � he smashes her into the railing, splintering it and holding her out over the stage.

Below her, the jagged beams of the wooden fence. Thirty feet down.

She hooks her feet over a pole just under the cat walk. He lets go � but she still has hold of his arms and she pulls him, he goes over and down, Buffy holding on by her feet, dangling upside down as he plummets straight for the fence.

ANGLE: WILLOW AND XANDER

We don't see him land, but they do. Their faces speak volumes.

After a moment, Buffy slides wearily down on the rope. She looks at the other two, then sits on stage. The other sit also, way beat.

XANDER: So, Buffy� what does a Vampire Slayer do, exactly?

WILLOW: I'm sorry about all this�

BUFFY: That's okay. It's kind of a destiny thing.

And as they sit, we

CUT TO:

INT. THE MASTER'S LAIR � NIGHT

Not that we would know day from night in this shadowy crypt. It is hard enough to get a sense of the dimensions of the place. Candelabras throw huge, rippling shadows on the wall. Silent, robed figures scurry about.

At one end of the room sits the Master, his face largely in shadow. From what little we can see, the face is not very nice. Or human.

THE MASTER: One girl killed them all? Four of my children taken from me by a single human?

ANGLE: BEFORE THE MASTER

Stands HAL, the janitor. He regards the Master with fear and awe, working his hands nervously as he reports.

HAL: She had help. And she was very strong, very healthy, good cardiovascular circulation� jumped like a jackrabbit, jumped like�

THE MASTER: A Slayer.

He pauses, contemplatively.

THE MASTER: The last Slayer I faced was a duchess, during the Spanish war. What a fighter. Her blood was so rich I was sick for a week. (to Hal) Watch her. I want to know everything about her.

HAL: You betchya.

THE MASTER: She does not suspect you?

HAL: Nobody sees me. They all think I'm crazy. (sudden wiggins) Snakes! Snakes!

Calm again in a second, he smiles conspiratorially at the Master.

CUT TO:

EXT. CAMPUS � THE NEXT DAY

Buffy sits alone, reading. Cordelia approaches her.

CORDELIA: Hey, Buffy.

BUFFY: Oh, Hi.

CORDELIA: Listen, sorry about last night. I got a little wigged when you grabbed me.

BUFFY: It's so not an issue.

CORDELIA: Cool. Listen, I was thinking maybe this weekend if you're not busy we could do something.

BUFFY: Really?

CORDELIA: Yeah, go shopping maybe, or hunt down the minions of Hell�

She cracks up, as do the group of her friends gathered around.

Buffy looks around at the group laughing at her. She quietly gets up and walks away. Xander approaches Cordy as she and the others laugh Buffy off.

CORDELIA: (still laughing) Come on guys, let's go look for the evil bloodsuckers from beyond the grave.

XANDER: Got a mirror?

This stops Cordy in her tracks. Xander strolls off without another word, though he is silently very psyched about his comeback.

Harmony calls out after him:

HARMONY: That was real funny� not.

Silently, all her friends turn to her, appalled. Harmony looks back at them in fear.

CORDELIA: Are you like, trapped in 1992? Update your slanguage, please.

ANGLE: BUFFY

Buffy approaches Giles and Willow (who saw the exchange with Cordy) as Xander comes up behind, completing their little circle.

WILLOW: Sorry about Cordelia. She [is] kind of a fair weather friend, except for the part where she's nice during fair weather.

BUFFY: All in a day's work for the Vampire Slayer.

GILES: You're just lucky nobody was hurt last night.

BUFFY: I wasn't lucky! I was extremely skilly.

GILES: That is in no way an actual word. Anyway, I just hope you get off as easy next time.

XANDER: (worried) There's a next time?

Giles looks at Buffy.

GILES: That's really up to you.

BUFFY: (after a moment) Yeah, I guess I'm your guy.

She starts for the library, Giles at her side, the others behind. We TRACK before them as they stride along, speaking rapidfire:

BUFFY: But if I'm gonna be fighting the forces of evil I want a few ground rules.

GILES: Fair Enough.

BUFFY: You keep it a secret. Nobody finds out who doesn't have to.

GILES: Yes.

BUFFY: You give me time for my homework. I don't want to flunk out and I got SATs coming up.

GILES: Yes.

BUFFY: You dress up and sing "I'm the Lady in the Tutti Fruity Hat".

GILES: No.

BUFFY: Had to try.

BLACKOUT.

{Main Index}